Yes, men are dumb, but women are stupid!

This is a theory I've been working on since my teens, and the older I get the truer it is.
I have no problem admitting that most men are dumb, I also have no problem stating that most women are stupid. This theory is a lot more detailed, but here's the concept.

Men are dumb, women are stupid.

Men: 80%-15%-5%

80% of men are dumb, just brainless fools that don't think past their penis or pride. The following statements are said with regularity: "Oh, I didn't know." and "Oh, I didn't think of it that way." These men, with comical regularity, don't know why she is mad; whether that 'she' is their friend, wife, girlfriend or chick they hookup with on weekend. This 80% of dumb-ass males usually never stops to think before they act. I liken these men to really dumb dogs.

Picture the following: a chain-link type fenced backyard in the shape of a rectangle. At the front is the back of the house; along the width of the fence is the adjoining neighbours property; and on the opposite side at the back of the fence is a sidewalk and a road. Now picture a dog in this backyard, sitting at the back of the fence in the far right corner.

This dog is just chilling out, looking up into the sky, not really doing much. Suddenly, he notices a car approaching from the right, so he starts to run along side the back of the fence as the car drives by. Why? Cause dogs like to chase cars, but that's not the point. The dog continues to run along side the fence until he runs full speed, SMACK, into the other side of the fence. The problem is the dog will do this every other day, running full speed into the fence, never thinking to look up before he crashes. This dog is the majority of men. This fence-to-face dog is the 80% of men, just dumb.

15% of men are smart; they use this intelligence for the things people would call ‘bad’. These are your players, womanizers and/or assholes. They know exactly what they are doing, and know how to get what they want; usually regardless or in spite of collateral damage. They're smart enough to look up before crashing into the fence, able to keep their eye on the prize while looking out for obstacles and opportunities.

The other 5% are also smart; they use this intelligence for the things people would call ‘good’. These are the kings, your keepers, great guys and/or gentlemen. These men know exactly what they are doing, and take care of the people around them, while getting what they want. They refuse to hurt others to achieve a goal. They will either ignore the car, or chase it while constantly aware of the approaching fence.

But you still have 80% of men that are just dumb.

Women: 80%-10%-10%

80% of women are stupid, able to destroy any credibility they had mere seconds ago by letting emotion dictate the retardness that can come out of their mouths. Now, I think women are incredibly intelligent people. Hands down I think a woman’s ability to reason and argue a point out weighs that of a man's. (Possibly why when a rational man and a rational woman have an argument the woman can usually argue her point better.) Yet despite this, when you throw emotion into the equation, this 80% is just stupid. The following statements are said with regularity: "I know he's (a long list of negatives), and he has done (a long list of shitty things) to me. But I love him." They will say this themselves, yet if their friend had said the same thing, they would tell that friend that they were being... stupid. Another popular phrase: "I know I shouldn't have (what ever silly, stupid decision, choice or action that was taken), but I was angry/sad/pissed/depressed at the time" Because apparently emotions justify any stupid thing that you do.

10% of women are smart, they use this intelligence for the things people would call ‘bad’. These are your gold diggers, home wreckers and/or scallies. They know exactly what they are doing, and know how to get what they want; usually regardless or in spite of collateral damage. They don't let emotion get in their way or affect their actions. They also don't use emotion on a reactionary level; they plan their next moves using emotion as a catalysts.

The other 10% are also smart, they use this intelligence for the things people would call ‘good’. These are your queens & princess', your keepers, good women and/or ladies. These women know exactly what they are doing, and know how to take care of the people around them, while getting what they want. They use emotion as a catalyst to do right by people.

Looking at the ratios Men 80-15-5 and Women 80-10-10, you will notice that there are more assholes then there are good guys, but I'm pretty sure we all knew that already. Sorry ladies, it's true. There are more good women then there are good men, good luck.

So there you have it, the simplified version of Michael Reid’s theory of “Men are dumb and Women are stupid”.

Now, I’m pretty sure you know where you fall on the list. Some of you may have started off in the 80% and have since grown into another bracket. But most people know they fall in the 80% bracket, and that’s okay; because at 80-10-10 or 80-15-5, the odds are against you. :)